The pre-story timeline: it begins at Chapter 0 NE – Ysgrifen

2536 CE – The gods return to Earth after their jaunt to The Large Magellanic Cloud.
2537 CE – The father of the gods variously called Odin, Zeus, or any of dozen other names, expresses his horror at the mess the tenants have made of the Earth and turns off the electricity.
2537 CE – Thor has a hissy fit and clears off to Andromeda declaring, “This is not fair. I hate you, Dad!”
2537 CE – Odin charges after him, shouting, “You come back here, young man. You’re grounded.”
2537 CE – The rest of the gods follow Odin, shaking their heads and muttering, “Kids, eh?”
2537 CE – The intricate structure of human society collapses, millions die, and those remaining start burning sticks to keep warm. Global warming accelerates exponentially.
2538 CE – Lucifer, who is always up for a good family fight, selects a damned soul to look after the shop while he’s away, hands power over to Stan Baumgarten, a former international Kneeball player. He follows the gods at a safe distance, laughing his socks off.
2538 CE – Baumgarten adopts the name S’tan for brevity’s sake and sets about dealing with complex financial instruments Lucifer has signed up to with the Bank of Forevica.
2600 CE – The ice-caps melt, and the seas rise. In response the humans burn more sticks.
2642 CE – The great tectonic shift sinks the entire continent of Murica, leaving only an archipelago of sun-kissed islands, which become known as The Western Isles. To avoid confusion, the Outer Hebrides revert to the name “Na h-Eileanan an Iar”, although many Scots still prefer “The Island of Strangers”.
2643 CE – the evolutionary offshoots of Homo Sapiens: Gnomus Sapiens, Dryades Sapiens, and Gobelinus Sapiens, together with their strange and otherworldly companions, the Fae, emerge, blinking in the sunlight, from their caves on the erstwhile frozen continent of Antarctica, and the gnomes and goblins immediately start fighting.
2643 CE to 2792 CE – The Goblin Wars
2644 CE – A band of humans land on Antarctica to see what the noise is all about and find the Dryades lounging around in deckchairs, cheering on the fighting, while distilling “Elven Stew”, which they claim is purely for medicinal purposes, the Gnomes and Goblins going at it hammer and tongs all over the continent, and the Fae flitting about saying, “Stop it boys. Can’t we just talk things through?”
2645 CE – The humans return to Antarctica in force and join the war on the side of the Gnomes, purely on the grounds “They look like us.” The slaughter is immense, Goblins and Gnomes both being stronger and faster than any human. Reinforcements are sent by the last three remaining human governments, the French, the Germans, and the British. They are all killed.
2646 CE – The Queen of the Fae is horrified, and in a moment of clarity, levels the playing field by granting humanity the gift of “Sock Magic”, the most powerful form of magic a mortal can possess. This allows the humans to send another expeditionary force comprised entirely of wizards. This is enough to tip the balance. The numerically superior Goblins are fought to a stalemate. The standstill goes on for another one hundred and forty-nine years before the Fae get the antagonists around a table to talk peace. By this time there are barely more than ten thousand Gnomes, and fifty thousand Goblins left standing. There are only eleven human wizards remaining.
2792 CE – The Peace Conference of Concordia. The goblins want all of Antarctica as their domain. The gnomes agree and decide they will go to Europe to start a new life working with the humans. At the last minute, the goblins demand the humans are stripped of their Sock Magic powers as a gesture of their willingness to fully engage in the peace process. The fae agree to take custody of the last remaining eleven pairs of golden socks and keep them safe in Wales. The concordat of Concordia is signed.
2793 CE – The fae migrate to Britain, which has broken up into its constituent parts of Southern England, Mercia, Rheged, Wales, Northumbria, Scotland, Ulster, and Dumnonia, although still nominally under the aegis of the United Kingdom, the separate kingdoms have almost complete autonomy. London has reverted to a version of its ancient name of Lundainjohn. Paris, not to be outdone, now calls itself Lutetia. The Elves decide to settle in the new Western Isles because, “That’s where the best surfing is, man”, returning to Europe only when a volcano on one of the islands starts throwing rocks into the sea. This happens about once every six months. They change their collective name to the Surfer Dude Elves.
2794 CE – the calendar is reset to reflect the new era of gnomes, elves, and humans working in harmony with the aid of the fae. 2795 becomes year zero of the New Era.
0 NE – The fae set about their sworn duty to improve the health, wealth, and happiness of all sapiens, set up a small kingdom in Wales called Bannau Brycheiniog, and as an entirely unexpected by-product, reduce the number of souls being sent to hell by a good two-thirds.
1 NE – S’tan gets worried about the drop-off in soul receipts and starts planning.
3 NE – In recognition of the fae’s services to all humanity, they are invited to send a representative to Lundainjohn to become the new Queen of Britain, following the death of the old human King, who is the last of his line. Queen Elowen Lumina of the Tylwth Teg sends her daughter Flaxmain to take up the position.
4 NE – To prevent the gods ever causing uproar again, Queen Flaxmain removes the Earth from the domain of the common universe and hides it from their view. In recognition of this, she changes the name of the whole planet to SPOWK, which is an acronym of Some Place Only We Know.
5 NE – A former Gnome Guard, Captain Camden Ironbell is discharged and thanked for his services. He returns home feeling despondent and useless. The next day he receives an invitation from Queen Flaxmain to attend the offices of the newly formed Gnome Office to take up the position of the Detective Inspector in charge of non-human affairs.
5 NE – S’tan enlists the help of a trainee human wizard to cause disharmony by removing the fae from the picture.
5 NE – The Bank of Forevica sends in an auditor to check the finances of Hades.
Our story begins at Chapter O NE.

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